I hate all girls vehemently.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
