i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
