yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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