508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize