After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
