If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize