We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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