when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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