New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
