Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
