We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
