I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize