youre lurking in front of me
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
