Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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