What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
