Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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