oh god the rape fog is back!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
