worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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