it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
