Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can you bring me the toilet please
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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