Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize