Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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