So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
