Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
