physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize