I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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