He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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