Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
