Princesses don't give blow jobs
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
