I love black thongs
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
