Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize