i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize