Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize