My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
