either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
