Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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