Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
