This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We have started to decorate penises.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize