My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
