Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
