If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
