This is not my ceiling
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
