Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
wow bdsm is so cute
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
