come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
