Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
