he shaved USA in his pubs
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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