Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
