Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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