The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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