He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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