I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
