Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
