so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
