Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
