Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
