This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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