So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
