After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
now i know why i became what i already was.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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